Well, thank goodness we didn't title this book...one fun WEEK at a time! It's hard enough to keep up monthly sometimes!

Welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Masculine Side Month" Ladies!
Gents: you have the month off - woo hoo (unless of course you neglected to get in touch with your feminine side last month - you know who you are :)

My mission this month: manly things!
So far, I've:
1. killed a bug
b. used a hammer
c. cleaned my car (ok, it's a minivan)
d. glanced at the sports page in the newspaper

Ok, so, not too fantastic, i know - but I'm getting new tires put on the car this week - all by myself - does that count???

Stay tuned - I'm not done yet.

Hi everyone! Amazing that it's May already - welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side Month!" Have you scheduled your massage yet Gentlemen? No? How about a bubble bath?? NO???? Ok Gents, Time to get Metrosexual and at LEAST go for the extra scalp massage next time you get your hair cut!!!!

Ladies: whew - a month off for us! For me, I'll be catching up on Swap Chores Month from last month - something I must admit I didn't do much of last month! First up: grunt work in the yard - i'm off....

Thanks To Marsha B. for this yuck today:

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well.
One instructor told his
communications class of his plans to propose marriage.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

Hardy har!
Have a FUN day!

A GREAT WAY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP

"To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten."
-anonymous

AN EXAMPLE OF A SURPRISE FOR 'SURPRISE ME MONTH':

Be A Better Partner contributor Lisa writes about a nice surprise she received from her husband...

"I went on a five day retreat and came home to: Our bedroom walls, once cream colored are now maroonthe house, once cream colored with purple trim, is now sage with brown trima new kitchen sinknew bar stoolsand a new garden bed ( my girls helped out here)(!!) Usually the aspects of home are my department. I had to leave the state for his creative feminine to kick on full throttle! :)"

Surprises come in many forms. The important thing is not what, but to keep them coming...

Remember that February is "Surprise Me Month"! No need to wait until Valentine's Day to tell your honey you love them with a fun-filled surprise...

Last Minute Adventure Ideas:

Go to the movies - see something adventurous this time!
Order something adventurous when you're eating out this week!
Prepare something adventurous to gear up for Surprise Me Month, starting Wednesday!!

Over 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their significant others. Say it aint so!...so

ADVENTURE MONTH IDEAS

So far we have had the following "adventures" this month:

1. We gave blood together
2. We went on a hike to a place we had never been before - a local reservoir (and it was beatiful!)

Next up...we will take turns reading a book on relationships to each other one night a week. The idea here is to eplore uncharted territory in our relationship.

51% OF WOMEN LIVE WITHOUT SPOUSES

According to a report put out today, the majority of women in the United States are now living without spouses. Apparently this is due to women waiting longer to get married, more women not getting married with their partners, and women outlinving their husbands.

QUESTIONS THAT COUPLES SHOULD ASK (OR WISH THEY HAD) BEFORE MARRYING

From a December 17, 2006 New York Times article...

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

RELATIONSHIP IMPROVEMENT IS LIKE TRAINING AN EXOTIC ANIMAL?

Not exactly, but this article from a June 25, 2006 New York Times is enjoyable and well written just the same. And it make some important points about how to "train" your partner...

"I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. "

USA Weekend Columnist Dennie Hughes offers some good relationship advice in her weekly "Relationtips" Column.

Here's a marriage counseling joke sent by Cory Church that will give you a good chuckle!

"A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Celebrating Adventure Month in January?

Share your ideas!

We Lambs are sitting down to map ours out later today, but here are some ideas from our Calendar Hub calendar:

1. Rent a tandem bike or Segways for a day
2. Head out on the subway or a bus for a day without deciding in advance where you'll go or what you'll do (warning - this may take a special kind of couple to do this activity!).
3. It's National Blood Donor Month - helllloooo? need i say more?
4. It's winter - hit the slopes and try snowboarding or ice skating!

Whatever you do - Have Fun for goodness sakes...and Happy New Year!!!

DR. PHIL GIVES 2007 ADVICE TO COUPLES

Dr. Phil gives some solid advice for 2007, and suggests that couples simply try to be a better partner rather than try to fix their relationship. We couldn't agree more...and have the perfect set of tools to do just that...Be A Better Partner. OK, so we are engaging in a bit of shameless self promotion thanks to Dr. Phil's unwitting endorsement. ;)

DON'T FORGET DECEMBER IS LIGHTEN UP MONTH!

Yes, it's a busy and somewhat stressful time. That's exactly why we chose it as lighten up month. Remember, take deep breaths, work together to get through the stressful days, and try to make each other laugh...speaking of which here is a joke to get you started:

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

Debbie is a great help...

Just by saying "everything is going to be allright". And you know, she's right. Despite the ups and downs, everything IS going to be allright!

PARTNER GETAWAY

Check out this recommended excursion for you and your partner in Oakland, CA:
www.segwayoffroad.com

thanks to Better Partner Debbie Bardon for submitting!

Debbie and I went Christmas shopping together yesterday - our last planned activity for "Togetherness Month". One thing that Debbie did really struck me. She knows that, for me, shopping is as about as fun as a being banished to a Siberian gulag. So, she started off our little trip by accompanying me to a cigar store (she hates cigars) and encouraging me to indulge one of my favorite vices. This helped set the tone for a really enjoyable excursion - minus the shopping of course:)

A smart strategy...and a partner that really cares. Boy am I lucky!

-Paul