DON'T TAKE A SIDE!

But if you do, you can now do it in public. Here's a new "crowdsourcing" tool that allows couples put a disagreement before the general public and allow friends and perfect strangers to take sides. Wouldn't recommend SideTaker as proper dispute resolution tool for couples, but it certainly is an interesting approach in the age of open everything.

Not Exactly in the spirit of a truly loving relationship...but worth a chuckle:

40TH Wedding Anniversary

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

Commuter Love...can it work?

According to recent statistics even more couples are engaged in long distance relationships

The most recent U.S. Census in 2006 showed that about 3.8 million Americans are in commuter marriages, a 30% increase since 2000. While many believe that technology can help lessen the distance faced by commuter couples face, their is no evidence that this is the case.

"...while innovations like e-mail, video chatting, instant messaging, Twitter and Second Life have increased the volume of Internet chatter, they haven't necessarily made long-distance relationships any more successful, Guldner says. Communication's quality, he says, has always meant more than its frequency.
"Information technology has definitely led people to believe that long-distance relationships will work more than in the past," says Guldner. "Whether that's true is the big question we're dealing with right now."

See the full Forbes article addressing the challenge of long distance love and technology here.

Just in time for "Parent Role Reversal Month" - a new online tv channel for parents:

http://www.cleverparents.com/category/about

Have fun swapping roles Moms & Dads!!!

THE IMPORTANCE OF IMAGINATION IN A RELATIONSHIP

"For a relationship to stay alive, love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, and boredom. Intimacy fails not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."

-James Hillman American PsychologistRelated Quotes Books by James Hillman Biography

How true...and in need of being put into practice, daily!

It's Stop Driving Me Crazy Month

And today, the perfect news story for this month from the New Zealand Herald, check this out:

Cleaning, not children, key to domestic bliss

5:20PM, August 9, 2007

The saying "I like hugs, I like kisses, but what I really like is help with the dishes" has been endorsed by a survey released today which suggests the key to domestic bliss is sharing domestic responsibility.

The survey of 750 adults, aged 18 and over, offered some insight into what New Zealanders believed made a successful marriage, and it seemed sharing the vacuuming or cleaning was more important than having children.

The findings of the survey conducted by UMR Research, listed nine different attributes of a successful marriage, with sharing the household chores ranked third.

Director of UMR Research Tim Grafton said New Zealand attitudes and opinions were similar to those of Americans found in a survey earlier this year.

The top ranked attribute in both surveys was faithfulness, followed by a happy sexual relationship.

Children ranked sixth on the list, well below housing and adequate income.

Comparisons with an earlier American survey revealed the increasing importance of sharing the load at home, Mr Grafton said.

In 1990, 47 per cent of respondents believed sharing the chores was important, compared with 62 per cent this year.

"It seems that over the past 17 years there has been an increasing appreciation of the value in the equality of unpaid work at home," he said.

The most significant difference between New Zealanders and Americans was the importance of shared religious and political beliefs.

Nearly 50 per cent of those surveyed in America believed similar religious beliefs were important, compared to 21 per cent of New Zealanders.

- NZPA

Enjoying Work Less Month!

If you're following the calendar, you're enjoying an easy month right now. It's Work Less Month and time for a break! But working less isn't as easy as it sounds! Here's some ideas to keep you focused on relaxing this month:

• Mediate - it's not for everyone but even if you can manage 3 minutes a day, it can help.
• Scheduling - schedule time NOT to work, NOT to clean or NOT to be busy together- and no tv either folks!
• Get Out - take a walk, hit the gym or go to the dog park together - whatever it is, head out with no plan, no agenda - together.

Whatever you choose, remember the focus is to be present and enjoy today - together!

Well, thank goodness we didn't title this book...one fun WEEK at a time! It's hard enough to keep up monthly sometimes!

Welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Masculine Side Month" Ladies!
Gents: you have the month off - woo hoo (unless of course you neglected to get in touch with your feminine side last month - you know who you are :)

My mission this month: manly things!
So far, I've:
1. killed a bug
b. used a hammer
c. cleaned my car (ok, it's a minivan)
d. glanced at the sports page in the newspaper

Ok, so, not too fantastic, i know - but I'm getting new tires put on the car this week - all by myself - does that count???

Stay tuned - I'm not done yet.

Hi everyone! Amazing that it's May already - welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side Month!" Have you scheduled your massage yet Gentlemen? No? How about a bubble bath?? NO???? Ok Gents, Time to get Metrosexual and at LEAST go for the extra scalp massage next time you get your hair cut!!!!

Ladies: whew - a month off for us! For me, I'll be catching up on Swap Chores Month from last month - something I must admit I didn't do much of last month! First up: grunt work in the yard - i'm off....

Thanks To Marsha B. for this yuck today:

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well.
One instructor told his
communications class of his plans to propose marriage.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

Hardy har!
Have a FUN day!

A GREAT WAY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP

"To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten."
-anonymous

AN EXAMPLE OF A SURPRISE FOR 'SURPRISE ME MONTH':

Be A Better Partner contributor Lisa writes about a nice surprise she received from her husband...

"I went on a five day retreat and came home to: Our bedroom walls, once cream colored are now maroonthe house, once cream colored with purple trim, is now sage with brown trima new kitchen sinknew bar stoolsand a new garden bed ( my girls helped out here)(!!) Usually the aspects of home are my department. I had to leave the state for his creative feminine to kick on full throttle! :)"

Surprises come in many forms. The important thing is not what, but to keep them coming...

Remember that February is "Surprise Me Month"! No need to wait until Valentine's Day to tell your honey you love them with a fun-filled surprise...

Last Minute Adventure Ideas:

Go to the movies - see something adventurous this time!
Order something adventurous when you're eating out this week!
Prepare something adventurous to gear up for Surprise Me Month, starting Wednesday!!

Over 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their significant others. Say it aint so!...so

ADVENTURE MONTH IDEAS

So far we have had the following "adventures" this month:

1. We gave blood together
2. We went on a hike to a place we had never been before - a local reservoir (and it was beatiful!)

Next up...we will take turns reading a book on relationships to each other one night a week. The idea here is to eplore uncharted territory in our relationship.

51% OF WOMEN LIVE WITHOUT SPOUSES

According to a report put out today, the majority of women in the United States are now living without spouses. Apparently this is due to women waiting longer to get married, more women not getting married with their partners, and women outlinving their husbands.

QUESTIONS THAT COUPLES SHOULD ASK (OR WISH THEY HAD) BEFORE MARRYING

From a December 17, 2006 New York Times article...

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

RELATIONSHIP IMPROVEMENT IS LIKE TRAINING AN EXOTIC ANIMAL?

Not exactly, but this article from a June 25, 2006 New York Times is enjoyable and well written just the same. And it make some important points about how to "train" your partner...

"I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. "

USA Weekend Columnist Dennie Hughes offers some good relationship advice in her weekly "Relationtips" Column.