Be A Better Partner

2009-10-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Relationships in modern times

2009-10-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

In Time Magazine's recent poll on the state of the America woman it found that 66% of both men and women are "very happy" when it comes to their marriage or partnership. And both sexes also came in with roughly the same results when it comes to "not at all happy" - at 1%.

This is good news...although I wonder how many couples feel pressured to present themselves at happy when asked by outsiders. I hope I'm wrong.

Interestingly enough more men (82%) than women (75%) said it is "very important" for a romantic partner to "give love and affection." Apparently men need all they can get too!

2009-07-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

2009-06-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

How often do you and your partner have sex? check out some new research in this area:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/?em

Today is the last day of "Get In Touch With Your Feminine Side Month." Gentlemen: how about a "female" flick tonight??? Or, a bubble bath - how long has it been??

2009-05-30T11:25:00.001-07:00

2009-05-07T12:36:00.001-07:00

Have you booked your summer vacation yet? Today, I read in Fitness magazine that married women who take at least TWO vacations a year are reportedly more happily married than women who take less, or (god forbid) none! Seems we 2+ vacationers are less stressed, less tense, etc. etc. I'm of to tripadvisor.com! Aloha...deb

2009-05-03T14:52:00.001-07:00

The Top 10 Secrets to a Long and Happy Marriage From Happily Married Couples

By Samuel M Stone on www.ezinearticles.com

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Top-Secrets-to-a-Long-and-Happy-Marriage-From-Happily-Married-Couples&id=2287418

When you look at the statistics of divorce in the United States they really are alarming, almost half of all marriage fail in divorce. This raises a few questions such as "What is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" All marriages will have their ups and downs, but something is wrong when almost half are failing. In a recent survey of happily married couple here is the 10 most common things they said why they are successful.

Always make time for the two of you.
Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
Never go to bed angry.
Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters. So fight naked
Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
Marriage is not 50/50, its two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".

If you take a close look at all of these guide lines they are nothing new and won't cost you any money, however if you practise them and some of them will require a lot of practise for some of you, there is no reason why you can't have a long and happy marriage like many others in the United States and around the world. And as a bonus here is a extra guild line for 11. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".

For more insight into the troubles many marriages face and steps you can take to save your relationship, visit this http://AutomaticLifestyle.com/marriage/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samuel_M_Stone

2009-04-11T09:09:00.001-07:00

On choosing to stay with your partner, from Barry Schwartz's "The Paradox of Choice":

"Agonizing over whether your love is 'the real thing' or your sexual relationship above or below par, and wondering whether you could have done better is a prescription for misery. Knowing that you've made a choice that you will not reverse allows you to pour your energy into improving the relationship that you have rather than constantly second-guessing it" (p. 229)

2009-03-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

Bad Marriages Harder on Women's Health
More likely than mates to show signs of metabolic syndrome in strained unions, study finds

By Kathleen Doheny
HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, March 5 (HealthDay News) -- The cardiovascular damage wrought by an unhappy marriage may be greater for women than men, a new study shows.

While both men and women in "strained" unions, those marked by arguing and being angry, were more likely to feel depressed than happier partners, the women in the contentious relationships were more likely to develop high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar and other markers of what's known as "metabolic syndrome," said study author Nancy Henry, a doctoral candidate in clinical healthy psychology at the University of Utah.

Metabolic syndrome is known to boost the risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

While many studies have linked poor marriages with poor health, Henry said she believes her is the first to tie in depression as a possible route through which the strain boosts the risk of metabolic syndrome. "The negativity triggers the depression, which is associated with the metabolic syndrome," said Henry. This was found true, she said, only for the women in her study.

For the study, she interviewed 276 couples, median age 54, by questionnaires, asking about positive aspects of marriage quality such as mutual support and sharing, and negative aspects such as arguing, feelings of hostility and disagreeing over important issues such as kids, sex, money and in-laws. She asked about depressive symptoms.

Couples were married, on average, 27.5 years, most in their original marriage.

For the rest of the story, click here to go to the HealthDay website article.

2009-02-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

A great quote on enlightened relationships from Eckhart Tolle in "The Power of Now", p. 128:

"The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partners as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.. That Immediately takes you beyond ego. All mind games and all addictive clinging are then over. There are no victims and no perpetrators anymore, no accuser and accused. This is also the end of all codependency, of being drawn into somebody else's unconscious pattern and thereby enabling it to continue. You will then either separate - in love - or move more deeply into the Now together - into Being. Can it be that simple? Yes, it is that simple."

2009-02-14T15:08:00.001-08:00

Happy Hearts Day everyone! xo

2009-02-11T14:31:00.001-08:00

Thanks to the Onion for today's Yuck:

Valentine's Day 2009

Relationship Tips

FEBRUARY 6, 2009 | ISSUE 45•07
Many couples find their relationships stuck in a rut after they've been together for a while. Here are some ways to rekindle the fires of love:

Remember: Fragrant roses, moonlit walks, and candlelight dinners are all wonderful ways to avoid addressing the real problems in your marriage
Check out the rest of the list at The Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/content/tips/relationship_tips

2009-02-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

Here's a very interesting OpEd piece in today's New York Times, entitled "Till Children do us part". It discusses the impact that that children have on a marriage, and notes that parents spend significantly more time with their kids, and less time with each other, than in years past. My favorite quote from the piece...perhaps one to take to heart..."the airline warning to put on your own oxygen mask before you place one on your child also holds true for marriage"

2009-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Some ways to give back and simultaneously give to your sweetie this Valentine's Day:

1. Invest in a poor entrepreneur and get your lover some chocolate to boot, at Microplace.

2. 14 Charitable ways to celebrate Valentine's Day.

2009-02-01T19:47:00.001-08:00

The Costco Magazine ("Costco Connection") did a nice feature on Lambs on Love for their most recent Feb 2009 Issue. Check it out here.

2009-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

Oprah.com has some good resources for couples on the new relationship channel, including a recent series on Sexuality. You can also download the video or audio from these shows from iTunes.

2009-01-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

RED HOT PASSION FOR GOOD
Source: California Psychics
By Maryam Henein

Do you suddenly have a headache at the thought of making love to your partner? Would you rather spend the evening at a bar with friends than snuggled up on the couch with them? Would you like to rekindle the romance but simply don't know how?

Anyone who's been in a long-term relationship knows that's it's easy to get into a rut. Yet successful couples realize that romance and passion ebbs and flows. Such is life. The difference between those who make it work and those who don't, however, is that successful couples continuously make an effort to infuse romance rather than wait till the relationship is too stale to salvage. It's an ongoing effort. That shouldn't be brain surgery, and yet, all of us struggle with it from time to time. The real question is whether or not you really want to make things work. So...

Ask yourself, do you want to be together? That's the bottom line. If you do, it's never too late to add some sizzle with the suggestions below.

Admit it and let it go
To begin with, it's important to look at the underlying reasons why you are no longer connecting. Are you still attracted to them? Did you ever feel passion towards your partner, or are they more of a friend? Are you turned off because they've let themselves go? Are you angry? The accumulation of resentment is a major reason couples grow apart sexually. So you need to learn to let petty issues go, and discuss the bigger ones. Couples who make up instead of hold a grudge are the ones that survive in the long-run.

Remember and honor
What brought you two together in the first place? Think about it. Remember their smile... the way they liked to play footsie with you before you dozed off... the fact that they obsessed with oral hygiene and flossed three times a day. Bring to mind all those silly and endearing things that make your lover who they are. It's important to recall those initial feelings of attraction.

"My favorite thing is to treat each other the way you first did when you were trying to seduce the person," adds Dr. Judith Kuriansky Idiot's Guide to Healthy Relationships.. Flirt. Dress up for them. Wear sexy lingerie. Do it even if it feels contrived at first. Also, concentrate on the positive rather than whining and begging about what they're not doing. Better yet, put your best foot forward and do something for them. For every negative there should be five positives, adds Kuriansky.

It's very important to make sure you appreciate one another. Do lots of small things consistently. Let your partner know that they matter. Respond to their email. Leave a sticky note in their pocket, compliment their hair. Buy them a gift simply because you love them.

Reprioritize
Move your relationship back to a priority position - schedule time together like you would a business meeting - and treat that time together like you're meeting with your best client, suggests Debbie and Paul Lamb, the co-founders of Lambs on Love, a company dedicated to the improvement of couple relationships.

And don't wait for a holiday like Valentine's to do something romantic. It's expected and therefore not really as special. Mix in novelty. Do something spontaneous - show up at work with plans for a night out, plan a different kind of outing. Consider scheduling a weekly date night. Take turns deciding what to do. Plan a weekend getaway or revisit a place that holds special memories for you.

Bedroom play
Whether it's trying a different position, adding a toy or playing X-Rated scrabble, being willing to try something new can change how you see each other, says Pat Davis author of the Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex: Secrets and Techniques to Keep Your Relationship Red Hot.

Don't forget to chat. Remember, the most important sex organ is your tongue, adds Davis. Talk without judgement or attacks. Really listen. Ask your partner what pleases them in and out of the bedroom. We're constantly evolving, so even though you've been together for eons, there's still a myriad of things to discover about each other.

It is never too late to spice things up. If you're married, you've made a real commitment and it's worth the effort. Try to make it work for you, your higher self, the kids and the community. There's a lot at stake, not least of which is your happiness!

2008-09-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

DON'T TAKE A SIDE!

But if you do, you can now do it in public. Here's a new "crowdsourcing" tool that allows couples put a disagreement before the general public and allow friends and perfect strangers to take sides. Wouldn't recommend SideTaker as proper dispute resolution tool for couples, but it certainly is an interesting approach in the age of open everything.

2008-08-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Not Exactly in the spirit of a truly loving relationship...but worth a chuckle:

40TH Wedding Anniversary

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

2008-02-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

Commuter Love...can it work?

According to recent statistics even more couples are engaged in long distance relationships

The most recent U.S. Census in 2006 showed that about 3.8 million Americans are in commuter marriages, a 30% increase since 2000. While many believe that technology can help lessen the distance faced by commuter couples face, their is no evidence that this is the case.

"...while innovations like e-mail, video chatting, instant messaging, Twitter and Second Life have increased the volume of Internet chatter, they haven't necessarily made long-distance relationships any more successful, Guldner says. Communication's quality, he says, has always meant more than its frequency.
"Information technology has definitely led people to believe that long-distance relationships will work more than in the past," says Guldner. "Whether that's true is the big question we're dealing with right now."

See the full Forbes article addressing the challenge of long distance love and technology here.

2007-10-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Just in time for "Parent Role Reversal Month" - a new online tv channel for parents:

http://www.cleverparents.com/category/about

Have fun swapping roles Moms & Dads!!!

2007-08-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

THE IMPORTANCE OF IMAGINATION IN A RELATIONSHIP

"For a relationship to stay alive, love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, and boredom. Intimacy fails not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."

-James Hillman American PsychologistRelated Quotes Books by James Hillman Biography

How true...and in need of being put into practice, daily!

2007-08-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

It's Stop Driving Me Crazy Month

And today, the perfect news story for this month from the New Zealand Herald, check this out:

Cleaning, not children, key to domestic bliss

5:20PM, August 9, 2007

The saying "I like hugs, I like kisses, but what I really like is help with the dishes" has been endorsed by a survey released today which suggests the key to domestic bliss is sharing domestic responsibility.

The survey of 750 adults, aged 18 and over, offered some insight into what New Zealanders believed made a successful marriage, and it seemed sharing the vacuuming or cleaning was more important than having children.

The findings of the survey conducted by UMR Research, listed nine different attributes of a successful marriage, with sharing the household chores ranked third.

Director of UMR Research Tim Grafton said New Zealand attitudes and opinions were similar to those of Americans found in a survey earlier this year.

The top ranked attribute in both surveys was faithfulness, followed by a happy sexual relationship.

Children ranked sixth on the list, well below housing and adequate income.

Comparisons with an earlier American survey revealed the increasing importance of sharing the load at home, Mr Grafton said.

In 1990, 47 per cent of respondents believed sharing the chores was important, compared with 62 per cent this year.

"It seems that over the past 17 years there has been an increasing appreciation of the value in the equality of unpaid work at home," he said.

The most significant difference between New Zealanders and Americans was the importance of shared religious and political beliefs.

Nearly 50 per cent of those surveyed in America believed similar religious beliefs were important, compared to 21 per cent of New Zealanders.

- NZPA

2007-07-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

Enjoying Work Less Month!

If you're following the calendar, you're enjoying an easy month right now. It's Work Less Month and time for a break! But working less isn't as easy as it sounds! Here's some ideas to keep you focused on relaxing this month:

Mediate - it's not for everyone but even if you can manage 3 minutes a day, it can help.
Scheduling - schedule time NOT to work, NOT to clean or NOT to be busy together- and no tv either folks!
Get Out - take a walk, hit the gym or go to the dog park together - whatever it is, head out with no plan, no agenda - together.

Whatever you choose, remember the focus is to be present and enjoy today - together!

2007-06-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

Well, thank goodness we didn't title this book...one fun WEEK at a time! It's hard enough to keep up monthly sometimes!

Welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Masculine Side Month" Ladies!
Gents: you have the month off - woo hoo (unless of course you neglected to get in touch with your feminine side last month - you know who you are :)

My mission this month: manly things!
So far, I've:
1. killed a bug
b. used a hammer
c. cleaned my car (ok, it's a minivan)
d. glanced at the sports page in the newspaper

Ok, so, not too fantastic, i know - but I'm getting new tires put on the car this week - all by myself - does that count???

Stay tuned - I'm not done yet.

2007-05-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Amazing that it's May already - welcome to "Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side Month!" Have you scheduled your massage yet Gentlemen? No? How about a bubble bath?? NO???? Ok Gents, Time to get Metrosexual and at LEAST go for the extra scalp massage next time you get your hair cut!!!!

Ladies: whew - a month off for us! For me, I'll be catching up on Swap Chores Month from last month - something I must admit I didn't do much of last month! First up: grunt work in the yard - i'm off....

2007-03-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks To Marsha B. for this yuck today:

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well.
One instructor told his
communications class of his plans to propose marriage.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

Hardy har!
Have a FUN day!

2007-02-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

A GREAT WAY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP

"To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten."
-anonymous

2007-02-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

AN EXAMPLE OF A SURPRISE FOR 'SURPRISE ME MONTH':

Be A Better Partner contributor Lisa writes about a nice surprise she received from her husband...

"I went on a five day retreat and came home to: Our bedroom walls, once cream colored are now maroonthe house, once cream colored with purple trim, is now sage with brown trima new kitchen sinknew bar stoolsand a new garden bed ( my girls helped out here)(!!) Usually the aspects of home are my department. I had to leave the state for his creative feminine to kick on full throttle! :)"

Surprises come in many forms. The important thing is not what, but to keep them coming...

2007-02-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

Remember that February is "Surprise Me Month"! No need to wait until Valentine's Day to tell your honey you love them with a fun-filled surprise...

2007-01-29T11:01:00.000-08:00

Last Minute Adventure Ideas:

Go to the movies - see something adventurous this time!
Order something adventurous when you're eating out this week!
Prepare something adventurous to gear up for Surprise Me Month, starting Wednesday!!

2007-01-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

Over 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their significant others. Say it aint so!...so

2007-01-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

ADVENTURE MONTH IDEAS

So far we have had the following "adventures" this month:

1. We gave blood together
2. We went on a hike to a place we had never been before - a local reservoir (and it was beatiful!)

Next up...we will take turns reading a book on relationships to each other one night a week. The idea here is to eplore uncharted territory in our relationship.

2007-01-16T14:11:00.000-08:00

51% OF WOMEN LIVE WITHOUT SPOUSES

According to a report put out today, the majority of women in the United States are now living without spouses. Apparently this is due to women waiting longer to get married, more women not getting married with their partners, and women outlinving their husbands.

2007-01-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

QUESTIONS THAT COUPLES SHOULD ASK (OR WISH THEY HAD) BEFORE MARRYING

From a December 17, 2006 New York Times article...

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

2007-01-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

RELATIONSHIP IMPROVEMENT IS LIKE TRAINING AN EXOTIC ANIMAL?

Not exactly, but this article from a June 25, 2006 New York Times is enjoyable and well written just the same. And it make some important points about how to "train" your partner...

"I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. "

2007-01-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

USA Weekend Columnist Dennie Hughes offers some good relationship advice in her weekly "Relationtips" Column.

2007-01-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

Here's a marriage counseling joke sent by Cory Church that will give you a good chuckle!

"A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

2007-01-01T11:02:00.000-08:00

Celebrating Adventure Month in January?

Share your ideas!

We Lambs are sitting down to map ours out later today, but here are some ideas from our Calendar Hub calendar:

1. Rent a tandem bike or Segways for a day
2. Head out on the subway or a bus for a day without deciding in advance where you'll go or what you'll do (warning - this may take a special kind of couple to do this activity!).
3. It's National Blood Donor Month - helllloooo? need i say more?
4. It's winter - hit the slopes and try snowboarding or ice skating!

Whatever you do - Have Fun for goodness sakes...and Happy New Year!!!

2006-12-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

DR. PHIL GIVES 2007 ADVICE TO COUPLES

Dr. Phil gives some solid advice for 2007, and suggests that couples simply try to be a better partner rather than try to fix their relationship. We couldn't agree more...and have the perfect set of tools to do just that...Be A Better Partner. OK, so we are engaging in a bit of shameless self promotion thanks to Dr. Phil's unwitting endorsement. ;)

2006-12-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

DON'T FORGET DECEMBER IS LIGHTEN UP MONTH!

Yes, it's a busy and somewhat stressful time. That's exactly why we chose it as lighten up month. Remember, take deep breaths, work together to get through the stressful days, and try to make each other laugh...speaking of which here is a joke to get you started:

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

2006-12-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

Debbie is a great help...

Just by saying "everything is going to be allright". And you know, she's right. Despite the ups and downs, everything IS going to be allright!

2006-12-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

PARTNER GETAWAY

Check out this recommended excursion for you and your partner in Oakland, CA:
www.segwayoffroad.com

thanks to Better Partner Debbie Bardon for submitting!

2006-12-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

Debbie and I went Christmas shopping together yesterday - our last planned activity for "Togetherness Month". One thing that Debbie did really struck me. She knows that, for me, shopping is as about as fun as a being banished to a Siberian gulag. So, she started off our little trip by accompanying me to a cigar store (she hates cigars) and encouraging me to indulge one of my favorite vices. This helped set the tone for a really enjoyable excursion - minus the shopping of course:)

A smart strategy...and a partner that really cares. Boy am I lucky!

-Paul

2006-11-29T12:21:00.000-08:00

Today's tip: Try to round out "togetherness month" with some holiday shopping together, but be sure to spend plenty of time paying attention to each other and not just the shopping. Hold hands, sit down and have a cup of coffee or lunch and talk.

Remember: The gift of time and attention you give to each other is far greater than any gift you could possibly buy each other!

2006-11-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

We had our first Book signing yesterday evening at a local bookstore. Didn't get a huge crowd, but those attending did seem to enjoy learning about how to use the book and calendar. They also had some great suggestions on how to make the most of "Togetherness Month" through various couple activities.

Also got some takers to participate in a new couples group we are forming here in the San Francisco East Bay, which will meet for the first time in January 2007. It is not a therapy group, but an attempt to bring couples together to discuss positive ways for couples to work on their relationships, share ideas, and to offer peer role modeling. Also may be the beginnings of a socializing group. If interested, shoot us an email at info@beabetterpartner.com.

2006-11-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

Here's our latest spoof video... "I got YouTube Babe!"

2006-11-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

For folks who haven't yet seen the calendar, here it is...

And here's the book...

2006-11-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

2006-11-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

Communication is hard...but sometimes ya just gotta take a risk and do it!

Today I told Debbie something that was bothering me, right after it was in fact bothering me, instead of holding it in or acting it out passively in some other negative way. Long story short...we both felt better as a result.

I just saw this quote, too, which speaks far more eloquently than I can about the importance of such seemingly trivial acts:

"All my life has been a preparation for this moment, for which no preparation was needed. I reach within for that unique gift which I have to offer my world. With the skills that I have honed, I shape it and polish it and call it my best. All this is but wrapping paper, for the heart of the gift is my heart, it has always been with me, and now I offer it to you."

-Paul

2006-11-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

Our friend Paul Johnson of Save the Relationship was interviewed on the Tom Leykis show out of LA last night. The topic of the show was "Is marriage necessary". Of course the answer is that marriage is necessary for those who want and are ready for marriage. Unfortunately, Tom's premise (and the way that he attracts listeners) is by appearing to be an unapolagetic misogynist so the callers he lined up were men like himself who hate women or see them as possessions. Sad that someone can actually make a living and a reputation off of shooting for the lowest common denominator when it comes to relationships.

Another reason why Be A Better Partner was created...to take the high road and focus on the positive benefits and possibilities of relationships and marriage. Maybe Lambs on Love will have their own radio show someday - and have a platform from which to speak about healthy and happy relationships and why they are so important for men, women, and their families.

2006-10-29T20:48:00.000-08:00

Check out this really nice article on us Featured in today's Vallejo Herald Tribune

2006-10-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

We had a reporter over yesterday and did an interview about Be A Better Partner. It was good, not just for the publicity, but more importantly because it gives us a chance to articulate why we are doing this...

because couples (including us) need support and encouragement.

because there is no silver bullet for finding happiness in a relationship...it takes work, some faith in yourself and your partner, and as much love as your heart can hold.

because we are all of us in this together, and the more we can share with each other the more we can learn and make improvements in our individual relationships.

and because it is important to remember why we fell for our partner to begin with and not to take them for granted, ever...

2006-10-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks Everyone for your kind words and emails of support!
Our launch is going great - we could use your help though.
We need some folks to post reviews and rate us on some web sites, like:

lulu.com (our main seller of the Handbook & calendar - just click on either from our home page to go straight to our storefront to give us a rating or review) or try clicking here: http://lulu.com/lambsonlove
amazon.com - Click here to rate or review our handbook:
Or, if you're really hi-tech, we'd love you to add our home page to your delicious favorites, squidoo lens, or add a link on your own blog (we'll happily return the favor!)

So - we're off and running and SO glad to be "out" in public now with our first official business together: Lambs On Love! Thanks again & stay tuned on this blog for more fun updates!

xoxo

deb

2006-10-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

So you launched...now what?

Well, I suppose we should take a moment to talk about what we hope to do with this blog. We intend it to be an open forum for people to talk about relationships. What makes them work better, what makes them stronger, and how we can get there.

Rather than focus on what doesn't work (God knows there is enough of that) we would prefer to focus on what does and what we can learn from it. To kick things off here is our (Debbie & Paul's) short story - an audio clip taken from the introduction to our Be A Better Partner Handbook.

The bottom line: It has been quite a relationship roller coaster ride (including trying to publish our stuff and get this business off the ground) but we made it and are going strong!!! Sure there are some days when we bug the s--- out of each other, but those days cannot possibly match the majority of days when it all feels right...and we go back to cherishing each other.

Care to share your short story...???

2006-10-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

is FINALLY live! Check it out HERE...